the poorly conceived erotic literature project

  • jenkins awoke to a room that smelled of wet dreams and sour promises. the doll hadn't lived up to the breathless ad copy that had enticed him so.

  • unease tugged at him like the blade of a rabbi's bris knife. "would it fit, ever after months of preparing myself?" he wondered. 

  • their bodies collided with a colossal crash, like two sluggish tugboats impacting one another on a pea soup massachusetts december morning 

  • and then he was inside her, lurching drunkenly, a bleary-eyed wal mart shopper careening without care from aisle to aisle at 3am

  • without warning, her tongue erupted into his mouth like a harried proctologist administering an exam in an awful hurry

  • they eyed each warily on the gun range, like two world war ii fighter planes jostling for the perfect angle of attack

  • he entered her slowly, cautiously, like a building inspector going into a condemned structure for the first time

  • furiously, he tore the burger king crown from her head and deep kissed her, covering his tongue in the partially chewed french fries she'd been munching moments before

  • languorously, without commitment, she diddled her skiddle while the school children walked in single file outside her apartment window

  • like a front line rusher sacking a qb, she pinned the hapless i.t. technician against the filing cabinet at the holiday party, her booze-enhanced fingers making a beeline for his johnson

  • on the dance floor, it was as if two great black bears had begun brawling. the two male patrons were built like linebackers and now sparred furiously, their exposed chests colliding violently as they battled over the attentions of the young woman on the dance floor, who truth be told was content to dance platonically with whoever was around

  • like a spelunker carefully navigating uncharted caverns, he gingerly probed his tongue between her thighs, alert to the first sign of danger

  • "hey, you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!" she yelped as he went in for a little unsanctioned anal

  • as the escape capsule plummeted violently to earth, the lady cosmonauts' arms and legs intertwined beyond the limits of logic and they found their tongues wrapped together as the g forces and promise of near-certain death heightened the violence and the ecstasy of their embrace

  • the tugboat captain grunted in the affirmative as the one-legged bearded lady unbuckled his leather belt. landfall would have to wait.

  • bridget lept to her feet. it wasn't everyday that an orgy erupted at the winesburg pta meeting.

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